Some guys seem like natural flirts. With effortless charm, charisma, and sex appeal. But the truth is most guys are wondering how to flirt with girls the same way you are. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Before you know if she likes you, you need to get your game in check. Which means it’s time to map out some absolutely crucial flirting techniques. Think of these basic tips as a substitute for a dating coach while you nail down how to flirt with girls. Or maybe you’re into guys? If so, check out our tips on How to Flirt with a Guy
What It Means to Flirt With a Girl
Before you can start flirting, let’s take a look at what it means to flirt with a girl. Because too many guys have the wrong idea about what flirting is. Most flirting techniques involve some combination of changing vocal tone, teasing, and suggestive adoration. And flirting tends to involve funny remarks, an abundance of wordplay, and a charming smile. Since we can’t approach another person and boldly announce our interest in them, flirting is subtle. And it’s important to know how to subtly flirt with a girl. Because if you come on too strong you’ll make her feel uncomfortable. At the end of the day, those subtleties make it very tricky to know if you’re flirting properly. So, instead of playing games, or scaring girls off, let’s take a deeper look at how to flirt with girls.
How to Flirt with Girls in Person
In person flirting doesn’t have to be intimidating. While there is more to consider when communicating in person, the experience can be extremely rewarding. So, it’s worth the extra effort. However, knowing how to flirt with girls in person requires careful navigation between being too subtle, and too forward. Which leads you to that middle ground. But meeting women doesn’t have to be a challenge. In fact, small stuff makes a big difference when it comes to flirting. And we’re here to help you navigate all the ins and outs.
1. Use Confidence
If you’re going to flirt you absolutely have to be confident. Or at least act the part. And the beautiful thing about acting confident, is that eventually you’ll start to believe in yourself. Try to maintain good posture, and try not to fidget too much. The key is to appear sure of yourself and unflinching. Then you’ll be sure to catch her eye as you’re walking past her. Keep in mind that too much confidence is another way to say “egotistical.” And no one wants that. So, try not to over do it. In order to make flirting less nerve wracking try to remember that this is no-stakes fun. No one owes anyone anything. Ultimately, she’s just a person, same as you.
2. Put Your Best Foot Forward
How can you feel confident if you aren’t dressing the part too? By sporting a disheveled appearance you’re making a statement that you don’t care. And that won’t get you anywhere. So, you need to put your best foot forward. Which means making an effort with your appearance, and taking the time to groom. Something all girls love is a guy that smells good. If you know you’re going to be around a girl you’re trying to flirt with, wear some nice cologne. And don’t forget deodorant. Because even the best cologne won’t hide B.O. Along with smelling fresh, you’re going to want to freshen up your smile too. Therefore, before you approach her, make sure you aren’t rocking any spinach in your teeth. Once you get yourself sorted, you’ll be ready to get your flirt on.
3. Approach Her the Right Way
Approaching women can be quite the feat. Will you get denied? Did you misread her signals from afar? In order to ease your mind about approaching a girl the right way, we’re here with some useful tips.
Initiate Conversation
Before you walk up to a girl and stand in front of her like a blubbering idiot, make sure you prepare how to start the conversation. Leading with a comment about your surroundings is way better than walking up to her and simply saying, “hey.” And whatever you do, don’t approach her with a line like, “how you doin’?” If you’re at a bar or a restaurant ask her what she’s drinking, and follow-up by asking her if it’s good. Or, if you’re with mutual friends, inquire how she knows everyone.
Introduce Yourself
Once you establish yourself with your initial conversation, you need to introduce yourself. Offer up your name first, then ask for hers. And don’t forget to mention that it’s nice to meet her. These little details really matter when it comes to flirting.
Keep Things Casual
When you approach a girl for the first time, keep things casual. Even if you’re trying to flirt with a girl you already know. Read the room and go with the flow. Remember, you aren’t on a date, so it doesn’t necessarily matter if she keeps talking to you. After all, she isn’t here specifically for you. With that being said, have fun with it. If you talk the rest of the night, awesome! However, if you only make it to introductions before she has to leave, no big deal. There’s always next time.
4. Use Proper Eye Contact
Because flirting is a subtle art, anyone that is nervous about initial introductions can relax momentarily. Luckily, one of the most powerful flirting tools is maintaining proper eye contact. Which can be done from across the room. And that’s an emphasis on the word proper. When you maintain eye contact for too long, you’re going to freak someone out. Instead, break up your gaze by only glancing her way periodically. After she looks back at you, smirk and then look away. The trick is to appear aware of her rather than obsessive of her whereabouts. But what happens when you’re chatting her up in person? Keep the eye contact up. Don’t glance around the room if you’re actually speaking to her. Once you initiate a conversation, eye contact will show her that you’re engaged and interested in her. However, if she’s interested in you, all bets are off. And that means you should up the ante.
5. Use Your Body Language
Turns out most guys already know how to flirt with girls, it’s just subconscious. And a lot can be said through body language. Whether we want it to be known or not. Does your face ever get flushed with embarrassment when you’re feeling shy? Or do you find yourself tugging at your ear whenever you tell a lie? Those are examples of subconscious body language. Are you curious what you do that gives away your flirtatious intentions? Then follow along for a brief breakdown of how people flirt with their bodies.
Smile
Knowing how to flirt with girls requires you to be highly aware of your body language. And it starts with your mouth. There’s an age old adage that the first thing someone notices about you is your smile. While the brooding loner might be attractive in theory, a glum expression isn’t very approachable. If you want to flirt with a girl successfully, you need to smile. Even just walking past and smiling coyly at a girl is enough to have her thinking about you. At the same time, if you constantly smile you might freak her out. So, play it cool.
Mirror Her Movements
One way to build a rapport with someone is by mirroring their movements. What that means is you copy their body language. Of course, that doesn’t mean you deliberately copy everything they do. That’s a different form of imitation. And although knowing how to flirt with girls involves humor, mirroring is more casual than that. Instead, mirroring consists of small gestures such as leaning back when she does. Or turning towards her more when she shifts her body towards you. In fact, most of the time you won’t notice yourself mirroring a girl’s body language. But mirroring helps us feel comfortable with other people.
Lean Towards Her
When you flirt with a girl, lean in towards her. By minimizing the space between you, you’re showing her that you’re comfortable around her. Along with expressing your comfort zone, leaning towards her displays openness. And open body language attracts girls way more than the awkward, standoffish alternative. Although, if she moves away from you when you lean in she might not be interested in your flirtatious banter. Or, you have bad breath. Which is why you should refer to tip #2 on this list.
Break the Touch Barrier
With flirting being such a subtle process, you have to use more than eye contact, and good looks. Another way to elevate your flirting skills is to get physical. Granted that too much, or the wrong physical touch is a major flirting faux pas. Once you feel that she’s flirting, you can start breaking the touch barrier. An appropriate example of breaking this barrier is a light tap on the arm. Never with too much force. And sprinkle it on alongside some jokes, or funny stories. When you break down the barrier of physical contact, your flirtations become more obvious.
6. Ask About Her Interests
By asking a girl about her interests you’re proving to her that you’re interested in her. Plus it’s a great way to get more information you can use to flirt with her. For example, talk to her about the music she likes. If she has a particular artist she’s especially into, ask her if she can show you her favorite song. Or if she can recommend more artists like them. When you express interest in stuff girls love you’re making them feel important. You can also use her areas of interest as fuel to ensure that the conversation flows effortlessly. That means paying attention. Later on you can approach her again and mention you looked more into something you know she likes. This is both great for building rapport and gives you an excuse to talk to her again.
7. Compliment her
Giving compliments is an instant turn on. Everyone loves a little confidence boost from time to time. But if you’re going to compliment something she’s wearing, don’t be creepy. If she’s wearing a cool pair of shoes, compliment that before you tell her how great she looks in her top or pants. Compliments like that can send a little message that you’re checking her out. And she might not be comfortable with suggestive comments yet. When giving compliments the greatest flirting technique is to stick to aspects she can control. Not everyone wants to have their looks be the focus of another person’s gaze.
8. Use Your Humor
Having a fun and playful style of flirting can get you far with girls. And humor is a must when talking about flirting properly. Be aware, you can’t bust out any type or joke in any situation. Plenty of jokes fall flat under the best circumstances. Then, what type of humor should you avoid when you’re flirting with a girl? Try to steer clear of overly self-deprecating humor. While a small amount can show you don’t take yourself too seriously. Once you cross the line and overdo it, self-deprecation looks more like low self-esteem. And no matter what route you take, avoid negging. Negging is when you tease, mess with, or insult someone with a compliment somewhere in the mix. Humor should make people feel good. And negging exists to chip away at someone’s self-esteem – which isn’t very funny. Figuring out what kind of funny behavior she likes requires you to get to know her better. Once you do, stick to telling jokes she’ll understand. And laugh with her, not at her.
9. Use Pick Up Lines – Yea or Nay?
Pick up lines are known for being cheesy. Some girls find them amusing, while other girls find them to be an instant turn off. So should you use pick up lines when you flirt with a girl? It depends. If you’re trying to flirt with a close friend, cheesy lines might be the perfect route. Since you’re both comfortable with each other, the pick up lines won’t be off-putting. Pick up lines require the right delivery, along with the right line. So, if you choose to saunter over to a girl and spit out a few pick up lines, go right ahead. Although success isn’t a guarantee.
How to Flirt With Girls Over Text
Today, it’s more important than ever to know how to properly communicate over text. Between the sheer amount of texting that occurs, and the rise of online dating, you’re bound to spend ample time drumming up the perfect texts. If you’re trying to flirt with a girl over text you’ll notice immediately that it’s a different game than flirting in person. A large portion of flirting with a girl in person requires vocal tone, and body language. But once you take that away and you’re left with a screen, the same rules no longer apply. Now what? How do you navigate that divide? You’re in luck though, because we have some tips to offer you on how to flirt with girls over text. That way you can continue to flirt with a girl even when you can’t see her in person. So keep that budding flirtation alive by following these 6 tips on how to flirt with girls over text.
10. Ask Her Questions
As you start talking to a girl over text you want to ask her questions. By asking questions you’re expressing interest. Along with gaining insight into that person’s life. Which means you have more fuel for talking points. When you ask questions, make sure they’re open ended. Then you won’t run into as many stagnant moments. Flirting is at it’s best when both parties have a good rapport with each other. Along with strengthening conversation, asking questions will give you ideas for future dates. And asking a girl out on a date is the ultimate flirty question.
11. Avoid One Word Replies
Because communication is so important, you can sit on the other end and let her do all the talking. One word replies are a great way to express disinterest in a girl. Miscommunication is prevalent in texting conversations. Therefore, you need to think twice before hitting send. When you constantly reply in one word texts, it’s too ambiguous, generic, and boring. Plus, many girls view it from the perspective that the guy isn’t that into them. Knowing how to flirt with girls over text means knowing how to ensure that the conversation flows. With that in mind, avoid those pointless one word replies. And give her something to work with.
12. Say Good Morning and Good Night
Do you ever wake up with a text from a girl you like? It makes you feel pretty good, doesn’t it? Well, when girls get a text from a guy that they like, it makes them feel good too. By texting a girl when you wake up – and before you go to bed – you’re letting her know you’re thinking about her. But the timing isn’t by chance. You’re showing her that she’s the first person you think about in the morning. And the last person you think about before you fall asleep. Plus you’re making sure she thinks about you throughout the day. But as always, err on the side of caution. If she doesn’t respond to your text, don’t stress. Maybe she had a busy morning. Or she was already asleep. When your texting becomes excessive it can push girls away. Remember subtly is your friend.
13. Be Subtle
As far as knowing how to flirt with girls over text goes, the amount of texts you send is so very important. When you bombard girls with texts, you can come off way too strong. And flirting is best served in small doses. However, not texting back at all will likely drive your flirtation into the ground. Therefore, instead of sending five or six texts in a row, stick with one or two. If you’re sending walls of texts, or repeating yourself, it’s time to back off some. Don’t overdo it. Because the beauty of flirting is that it’s a casual stage of dating. And not all flirtations end with dating anyways. Ultimately try to avoid letting your texting methods get out of hand, or make her feel uncomfortable. Keep it light, and casual.
14. Send Her Memes
Feeling a dry spell in your texting relationship coming on? Try sending a meme, gif, or viral video. Using trending content can be a great way to flirt without coming on too strong. Many memes even consist of pick up lines. And they’re low risk because trending memes are hard to miss. So, the act won’t doesn’t come off as so desperate. You’re just two friends sharing a few laughs. Furthermore, switching from sending a girl texts to sending memes, or gifs acts as a way to refresh your conversation. Always make sure that anything you send her is well intended. Bonus points for incorporating her interests into anything you send her way.
15. Make Plans With Her
When you’re ready to show serious intentions, find out if she’s interested in hanging out with you. It doesn’t even need to be a date, simply an opportunity for you hang out in person and see where it takes you. Plus, if the only contact you’ve had with her is over text, then you need to meet her in person to find out if there is any interest outside of playful banter. Which is hard to genuinely establish over text. Most women have been told by society to wait until a man asks, so she might not ask you out herself. That doesn’t mean she isn’t interested. She could be waiting for you to speak up first. So, if you’re ready, take the plunge! Make some plans and take your flirting to the next level now that you know how to flirt with a girl properly.
How to Flirt With Girls – Conclusion
Hopefully by now you have a good grasp on how to flirt with girls in person, and over text. Always keep in mind that flirting isn’t meant to be dramatic. Overall, flirting can be harmless fun. But there’s always a possibility for someone to get their heart broken. If you’re the one that comes up broken hearted, keep your head up. Focus on the fun you can have with some flirtatious banter. And work towards shrugging off your rejections. Do you have any questions about how to flirt with girls? Or is there a favorite trick of yours that you’d like to share? Let us know what’s on your mind in the comments!
